![]() One might say removing her from this environment is foolish… to just have her finish high school there, even though she has proclaimed herself that she ready to move on. It has been a supportive environment which has made accommodations for her ADHD, and she has received the personal attention that she needs to succeed academically. Overall, the school has been a good fit for her. ![]() They are nice friends, although they do affirm her identity. A couple of her friends will still be there, others will have moved on. My daughter is going to leave her small private school after this, her sophomore year, and enroll in our public high school to take classes at a local community college. We are approaching another fork in the road. The first therapist I brought her to due to her severe depression, low self-esteem, and self-harm behaviors, was instantly affirming: “A lot of these kids commit suicide, otherwise”, she told me. Her mental health has suffered throughout this period of trans identification. Kindness and inclusivity have no relevance to gender ideology. It’s like agreeing with an Anorexic who thinks they are “fat” it is a lie and a delusion, a maladaptive coping mechanism that will ultimately cause more pain, damage, and regret. I have told her that I will always love and accept her no matter what, but that I do not believe in gender ideology. I continue to support her in all other areas of her life and love her with my whole being. The big lie of gender ideology is something she will have to eventually realize herself. Like most gender critical parents at some point, I have argued with her against it. I have never actually affirmed my neurodivergent, intelligent, and artistic daughter’s transgender identity. I go by a shortened version of my daughter’s legal name to keep the peace, and I typically just avoid using pronouns around her. Today, she has settled on “non-binary”, sporting pins proclaiming“He/They”. ![]() Then a few short months later, she was “trans” with he/they pronouns. Was this comment another fork in the road, where I could have somehow taken action to shield my daughter from this ideology?īy the next year my daughter was identifying as “non-binary” with they/them pronouns. Had I known the continued influence and insidious nature of gender ideology on the internet and in her peer group would lead her to believe otherwise a year later, I would have made different decisions. That year she told me, “It’s okay, Mom, I’m a girl”. Already in 6th grade, her peer group was discussing their different sexual orientations and/or gender identities. In 6th grade, we moved her to a smaller private school, but one with a more liberal culture. Could that fork in the road have propelled her in a different direction? Instead, she was in a public school that placed 5th graders in middle school, where she was exposed to older kids and older kids’ ideas. I reflect on the decision I made to send her to public school instead of a small parochial school when she was diagnosed with ADHD. While she has shown some signs of desistance recently, she has also told me that she’s committed to her daily chest binding and plans to have a double mastectomy at age 18. ![]() She is nearing 16 and has been trans-identified for over 2 years now, starting with middle school peer group influence, and the customary deep-dive into internet/social media/anime during Covid. Early this morning I lay awake in bed thinking of the forks in the road during my daughter’s childhood.
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